When you're in the thick of conflict with your partner there are things that you can do to help each other stay emotionally regulated and to help keep the trajectory of the conversation in a safe space.

Co-regulation in couples refers to the ability of partners to mutually influence each other's emotional states in a way that promotes emotional well-being and connection. It involves creating a supportive and responsive environment that helps regulate each other's emotions. Here are some strategies for couples to enhance co-regulation:

Active Listening:

Practice active listening when your partner is expressing their emotions. Give them your full attention, make eye contact, and show that you are fully engaged in understanding their feelings. Put phones away and focus on being fully present.

Empathetic Responding:

Respond with empathy to your partner's emotions. Acknowledge their feelings and let them know that you understand. Avoid judgment or criticism.

Validate Emotions:

Validate your partner's emotions by acknowledging that their feelings are valid, even if you may not fully understand or agree with them. Avoid dismissing their emotions.

Mindfulness:

Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Mindfulness exercises, such as meditation, journaling, or mindful breathing, can enhance emotional awareness and regulation. Creating this space as a couple could be very impactful and healing as you are training the brain to find calm in the presence of your partner

By creating a safe space where both partners feel secure expressing their emotions without fear of judgment or criticism you will keep communication and vulnerability open.

If you struggle with this in your relationship consider couples counseling. A trained couples therapist can provide guidance on improving communication, understanding each other's emotional needs, and fostering co-regulation.